Why Would I Want To Do This Again You Ask?

I'm a little crazy, is this news to anyone?  Haha, really there is a huge crazy test that I took at the start of each journey.  I'm assuming that by passing that means I'm not crazy.  But really to pass it I think a person has to have some level of crazy in them.   I know I'm doing this for all the right reasons, but I'm sure many people have a strong opinion on what I'm doing.

When I got pregnant with my son 7 years ago it was a huge surprise to me and his dad.  We were not trying.  For a couple like us to get pregnant all it takes is a six pack of beer and some flowers.  For the type of couple I'm going to have a baby(s) for it takes sooooo much more than this.  Before I got pregnant with Dean I didn't want kids.  I was dead set on population control and not bringing kids into a world "like this".  I couldn't afford a child at the time and I was young (25).

With in seconds of finding out I was pregnant all my views changed.  I could add one more child to this over populated world.  I was still only replacing his father and I with 1 human.  That's still down sizing right??  Now that I was pregnant I could save all the money I was spending on going out and trips and just living a single life.  All that money could be spent on my new obsession, "The Baby".  What about love?  I  had so much love for this little embryo that I could have exploded.  I'm surprised I didn't.  So there you go- I could have this baby.  I had the most perfect pregnancy and birth with Dean.  I got a little morning sickness in the beginning and huge elephant ankles in the end, but that was it for the complaints.  I basked is the attention and pampered myself every second of the way.  I didn't want to miss or forget one second of it because I knew he was going to be my one and only.

After I had him I took all the effort I put into my pregnancy and put that effort into him.  He was such a hard baby!  He's so lucky I was available to him 24/7.  There was no way I could leave him with a daycare with him being so colicky.  So, I quit my job when he was 5 months.  I went back to work for 2 months after my 3 months of staying home with him.  Some people can't wait to get back to work and have some freedom.  Some people  think they're not themselves without a career.  I wasn't myself with a career.  My career is being a Mommy. Even if it's only to one little boy.

I wish I could justify having more children for myself.  I'd be a great mom to them and there would be endless love for as many as I could bring to this world.  But the Julie from pre-Dean still puts up a good fight.  I shouldn't be over populating this already over populated world.  We can only afford 1 child comfortably.  I want Dean to have everything at his fingertips.  I don't ever want him to NOT experience something because we don't have the money for it.  By choosing to have him we chose to make sure he could have everything, like a college education.  Plus- he HATES babies.  I ask him all the time if he would like a little brother or sister and he says NO.  So don't ever feel bad that he's being deprived of a sibling that he never wanted.  I make sure he's around other kids all the time.

After having Dean I finally found something that I was really good at.  Being pregnant was easy and something I really loved.  "Too bad it's going to waste" was something I said a lot.  When Dean was around 18 months old I was at the gym running on the treadmill and letting my mind wonder.  I did all my best thinking on the treadmill.  I was wondering what I would do if my legs didn't work for me the way they did.  I take things for granted like that all the time.  For the most part I have a very healthy body.  I never need to see the doctor and I barely ever suffer from something as small as a cold.  At that time I had just started getting my periods back regularly.  I had breast fed Dean to 14 months.  I went another 2 months without my period and then it started coming back like clock work.

I also thought about how there were families out there that couldn't have babies like I could so easily.  It made me sad to think that if I loved Dean so much, and I didn't even try to have him, than the people out there trying like hell to have these babies that can't- must really really love them. (unfortunately that isn't always the case.)  That's when I came up with the hair brain idea to start asking all my friends and family if they wanted me have a baby for them.  I didn't want the baby, I just wanted to be pregnant again.  Before this moment I had never once looked into knowing what surrogacy was.  Didn't know, and didn't care.  Once the thought entered my head I knew instantly I had to do it.



Gay couples.  I had many gay friends in my life and had never had issues with the people being gay.  If anything I would like to think of myself as an advocate for the gay communities.  Doing this for a gay couple would be the best option for ME.  This was a scenario that I could see myself in very comfortably. That's when I found Circle on line.  It's a surrogate agency dealing mainly with the gay community.  It was the first and only application that I filled out with an agency.  I got shot down almost instantly.  At the time I lived in NY and by law a person can not be a surrogate in the state of NY.

Long story short we were planning on moving back home to CO anyways.  This just added fuel to the fire.

Birth Control to Have a Baby

This morning when I got up I had an e-mail from my newly appointed fertility clinic in CT.  Now that contracts are signed!!!!!!! we go quickly into the start of the medical evaluation process.  First things first- I have to go on birth control (ugh) to synchronize my period with the egg donors.  By doing this we can do what's called a fresh transfer.  I can explain that later.  So I e-mailed the nurse coordinator back to tell her that low and behold I have started my period today and if I need to start the pill on my 3rd day they would need to send those pills asap so we wouldn't have to wait for my next period.  Could that timing have been any better!?!?!?!  I'm really really hoping this might have shaved a month off the wait before we do the transfer.

My next step is to go to CT for the doctor to evaluate my girly parts.  Actually, I think my very next step is going to be to e-mail the dads and ask them if they know anything about the egg donor.  If her contract is signed and is also starting the pill any week now we could potentially be looking at a end of November beginning of December transfer.  I'm very motivated to get this process moving along, can you tell?  I guess it stems from my last journey taking over a year and a half of transfers to finally get pregnant.

So I'm working with the law of attraction here.  I'm only seeing a November/December transfer, and it working on the first try.  It's got to happen that way.  I'm also seeing the egg donor receiving a 20 perfect egg retrieval.

I am so excited!  I still haven't met the dads.  We've only talked on the phone.  I think I'm going to see if they have time to Skype with me this weekend.

Contract is written!!!

So as of today I have received and approved the final contract.  Now they just need to write a final draft and we all sign or lives away.  I can't wait for this part to be over!  Doing all the paperwork and contracts stuff is so boring and it take SOOO long.  There were a few new things in this contract as opposed to my old contract that I found interesting.  Like for one- I never thought to put a price on the potential loss of reproductive organs.  It makes sense, if I was to end up needing a hysterectomy due to this pregnancy than I would need something to deal with the repercussions.  I'm assuming I would need hormone treatment for the rest of my life, but I really don't know much on this subject.  Also I never thought to get extra life insurance for the intended parents to receive if something were to happen to me AND the baby(s).  So that was nice to see them covered as well.  Not that anything would ever happen.  The rest was just bla bla bla, legal jargon.

So here I am, insurance is approved and contract is ready to be signed on Monday.  Next is the medical portion.  I fly out to be evaluated by the chosen fertility doc.  After that I get put on birth control and once my periods are synced with the egg donor I start with the other hormone therapy.  I'm hoping that everything goes well and we can do this asap.  Maybe as soon as end of November.  Fingers crossed.  One thing I learned from the last pregnancy is that we should never expect it to happen in a certain amount of time.  Patience is key.  My last journey took 3 transfers to happen.  So from the time I met my baby daddies to the time I had the twins it took us 2 1/2 years.

I have a slight goal in mind.  I would like to transfer the embryos by the first week of December.  This way I have just the right amount of time to have the next baby(s) right before my son goes back to school.  I would rather all the moms at my sons school NOT know I'm being a surrogate again.  Last time it was so hard to drop him off and pick him up without everyone and their mother wanting to talk to me.  It was awesome having that much support, but I would like to be more than a walking womb this time.  I've told one of the moms so far and she's pretty excited that I'm doing it again, but I know she will have more than a pregnancy conversation with me too.

I've also slowly told my family again.  I waited until I was matched with my new couple and knew for sure that I was doing it.  I was going to wait till I was 3 months pregnant but I can't keep a secret to save my life.  I can't keep a secret and I'm the worlds worst lire.