That's a mouth full to say every time you call someone or e-mail to ask for it. This booklet has been a HUGE thorn in my side for the past month. It is something that is VERY important that the lawyers have when drawing up the contract and legal forms between myself and the intended parents. In simple terms it tells them if my insurance will cover my surrogacy or not. I just wish someone (anyone) with UHC knew what I was talking about when I called and asked for it months ago.
Dean and I have been on the hugest wild goose chase to get this booklet for what seems like months now. I guess it has been months since I started doing paperwork to sign back up for this surrogacy back in July. I started out by calling my insurance company, you know the 800 # on the back of the card. I found out that every person I got on the phone would tell me a different story. One would say I had to go threw my husbands HR department to get the information she "thought" I was asking for. Everyones insurance plans are different and catered to which company the employee is getting it from, so only Deans work place would know their own plan. Another person from UHC that I got on the phone said I had to send them a letter in writing that asked for the plan and then UHC would take it under consideration and send me a copy. They said that it could take up to 10 weeks!!
So after all the confusion I found out that I DO have to go threw Deans HR department. But I can't do it, Dean has to call them and be the one that talks with his HR person. I can understand that. There's just one woman there and she is BUSY BUSY BUSY. A couple of months ago I wrote down all the different terms that this booklet is called and sent Dean to his HR department to find it.
Fast forward 2 months- I still have nothing. Twice a week I ask Dean if he's gotten the booklet yet. He keeps telling me: His HR woman's too busy, there just is not a booklet ever made- I'm crazy, they stopped making the booklet and I can find it on line. If I could find it online I would have done that months ago!!! I DID do that months ago!!!! I sent everything I found on line to the agency and none of it was good enough. It got to the point that we were fighting about it when he would come home from work.
Last week I had enough excuses why we couldn't get the booklet. I felt like Dean was sabotaging this journey that I was starting. He WAS the one that came to me saying I should do this again and had his blessing and support. I wasn't about to let everyone down over this. We're in crunch time, legal documents are waiting to be written over this. So I had someone from the agency call Dean and let him know how urgent this was. I know it was going to make him mad and cause a fight, but I had to do want I had to do. I really hated that this was out of my hands and it was wasting so much precious time. We did fight about it later on, and in the end- I got the booklet a few days later.
Don't worry, we're not fighting anymore. One thing I've learned from being a surrogate before is that it isn't all fluffy clouds and lolly pops. Dean wasn't sabotaging me in any way. He was just as frustrated as I was because his HR woman wasn't being helpful at all. She was making him feel guilty for calling and bugging her so much and really not trying to help us. Dean didn't want to tell her why he needed this booklet. The people at his workplace don't need to know all our personal business. Thanks to his HR woman they all know our business at Deans work and I really don't think that's fare to him.
At this very moment the booklet has been e-mailed to the person at the agency that's been asking for it. I'm just waiting for the verification that what I sent him IS indeed the right booklet. I've sent him so many things in the past couple of months that always turns out NOT to be the right thing that they are looking for, but "You're getting close" was something I heard every time.
Sometimes we really have to fight to make this happen. This is only the beginning, so I need to save some if this for the rest of the journey.
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